Thursday, November 20, 2008


A horrible thought creeped into my head today.

What if Michael does not love me the way I do him?


Ok...breathe. I would think he does but I am so good at second guessing myself. If I don't get a text that says something nice I worry. If he doesn't call when I would hope he would I worry. He doesn't remember to do the little sweet things I so long for and it makes me think that maybe he does not feel as strongly as I do! That would be horrible!

Maybe while he is gone this week he will come up with some amazing little sweet thing to do for me when he gets home that will make me know that he loves me. But...well its the little things right. And since Sarah like number points I will do some on the little things that make me know he loves me:

#1-He is so nervous to hold my hand or hug me wrong that sometimes I can tell he is thinking each movement through while he does it. 

#2-His compliments are so genuine and most definitely not scripted, which makes it way cute. 

#3-The way he looks at me.

#4-He always wants to look strong in front of me. I love it.

#5-He tries so hard to do his hair the way he thinks I will like it. He practices.

#6-He had his mom go shopping with him to find good clothes he thought I would like.

#7-The way he puts his arm around me at church.

#8-How he always holds my hand when we pray. It is like our special time.

There are more...but right now that is what I thought of. He is my special amazing dude. Yah, I know, I have become cheesy. Oh well! 

In other news...I am cold. It is positively freezing outside! My Rabbit does not do to well in the cold, she sputters a bit and spits a big cloud of black from the exhaust. I bet I look classy in her! Well I must sleep!

Bonne Nuit!


- Sarah :-) said...

Okay - I haven't read your blog, yet, so there WILL be another comment. But in response to your inquiry, young grasshoppa... (in my best old wise Chinese man voice)

Go in to your layout, then click to add whatever it is the stuff is called. Then the followers thing is one you can just select. No need to do anything special.


- Sarah :-) said...

Okay - second comment AS promised:

You are TOTALLY cute. But let me just remind you... he probably has a different "love language" than you do.

I get myself caught up ALL the time on Kyle not doing some of the same sweet things he did when we were first dating. And how he never brings me flowers (not ever...) or never makes me dinner (well... almost never)and never blah blah blah. But he does it in other ways. Ways that I still don't apreciate like I should.

AND I get myself all worked up (which I do NOT recommend!!) with things like hoping that when I get home today he will have done the dishes for me. Or thinking "Ya know? I bet he'll surprise me this weekend and take me out on a date."

The problem? I set myself up to be discouraged. It's not like I expect him to do something... but... I hurt my own feelings my getting excited that he jsut might do something sweet to surprise me out of the blue.

Just be careful with that. You may not be upset at hime when he doesn't do it, but you will be let down on some level... well... at least I am when that happens. But maybe you're a lot better at that than me (wouldn't take much, seeing as I SUCK at it!)

E. Chikeles said...

I agree with Sarah on everything (especially the totally cute part)... I was going to write something like that too.

I will add one thing- I am learning that it almost degrades husband's love when I wonder if he really loves me. Again, as Sarah said they have their own language and the beauty of it is you get to unlock is as only YOU can! But thats the sucky part too. Just remember, in times of little signs don't jump to wondering if there is love or not... men really hate it. =) And that is a Papa Bernstein example for ya.

Love ya! I am so happy you are so happy!