Wednesday, May 28, 2008

I feel deprived.

I just realized how long it has been since I have blogged. Ok, well it hasn't been like forever but there was a time when I was blogging everyday, almost more than everyday. So yeah.
Well basically here is what is going on:
~I have EMT-b classes twice a week now, its nice to learn all the stuff but dang it takes forever. 
~I start school again June 9th. Hm. It going to be rough, 11 credits of summer classes is kind of a lot. Anatomy and Physiology II is going to be rough, especially since it is the accelerated class. 

SO yeah enough with the boring updates.

I was contemplating change, and how the Lord changes peoples hearts. I suppose that the apostle Paul was a pretty gnarly dude (not in looks or anything but in character) before the Lord got a hold of his heart. I mean imagine the all of a sudden just calling out to Hilary Clinton and her listening, and turning to Christ. Wow, what a revival could take place then! 

I guess I just picture all these people that I know that I figure would be to far gone to even bother with. Yet the Lord looks at them and sees a heart that could change. 

So I guess this is just a reminder to myself to pray for all those people who I sometimes esteem to be beyond reach. Like Hilary Clinton, Barrack Obama, all those terrorists in the middle east, everyone. 
So yeah, pray.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

What I love.

I just love taking pictures. So I hope you enjoy, this is what Minnesota/Wisconsin looks like in May. And this is mostly my best friend Rebekah and her family! (and me...)

May - 40.jpg

May - 38.jpg

May - 37.jpg

May - 30.jpg

And I love red hats!

May - 24.jpg

And more of Rebekah:

May - 18.jpg

And other things I just like to take pictures of.

May - 15.jpg

May - 05.jpg

May - 01.jpg

And thats all for now folks!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Change...supposed to be inevitable.

I am stuck in a rut of monotony. I want to get out!
I have options, I know but I am holding out for the amazing!
But why is it taking so long?
I love college, and the thought of getting my degree. And its only two more years! But I want it to change now, this monotony is just eating me up.
I wish I could become the girl I want to be, then maybe this would change and I could be loved by someone amazing and not be stuck here anymore. 'Here' is not a place, here is the last 9 the last 20 years? 
I will never be the girl I want to be...always cute and smiling and happy. 
My clothes are perpetually wrinkled, my hair consistently out of place. My 4 year old cousin might as well help me with my makeup and I only wear 2 different pairs of shoes on a regular basis. 
When I go to bed I imagine that somehow I will wake the next morning having developed some sense of style or taste, that my stupid hips would be gone and that my hair would be long and beautiful. I hold on to those hope and try to avoid all mirrors. However... my mom has placed them strategically around our house so that you cannot avoid the inevitable truth that waits around every, yes every, corner. 
Still...tomorrow I may be cute. Tomorrow I may develop a taste for daintiness instead of ultimate frisbee, a t shirt and baggy jeans. 
Yeah...I wish.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Decorating a lil cake.

Ok saying a 'lil' cake is an understatement. Try nine hours of baking, making frosting, making fondant and turning the kitchen into a powdered sugar version of ground zero. However, after all this I ended up with a good cake.
BMW Cake
And yes, I will pose with my cake for you guys.
BMW Cake 2

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

The Court Room

The Court Room:

Setting: Court room, there are two defendants, Mr. Christian Mostly and Mr. Jacob (deceiver) Living, a prosecutor (Law), a defense attorney (Grace), a bailiff (Prophet), jury and the Judge.

In the opening scene everyone is in place except for the judge, who walks in first thing.


Bailiff: Will the court please rise, the Honorable Pentateuch presiding.-(wait until Judge Pentateuch is seated)

You may be seated.

[Everyone is seated and the Judge looks over at the prosecuting attorney]


Pentateuch: Will the prosecution please give an opening statement.


Law: Certainly You Honor. (Prosecutor walks out and faces the jury, very animated throughout the speech) Good day to all you the ladies and gentlemen of the jury. You have been called here today to partake in the noble business of upholding justice. I am here today also to uphold justice, I am here to try to show you that the Law will not be bent, broken, or forgotten.  The defense will stand here in a few minutes and try to tell you that the defendant’s do not deserve just punishment. They will try to convince you that the law can be broken as it is able to be forgiven. They will try to escape the law that they love when it works for them, but when it condemns they hide; but I say no! (Pounds fist down on table when they say this)

(Points at defendant) These men are guilty! They have transgressed even the fine points of the law! They are murderers, liars, adulturers, thieves and so much more! They have no way to justify these actions and scant evidence to support them in their so called ‘innocence’.

I am asking you to try to uphold the law, and nothing more. You will presented with many facts, but you must see through stories and lies an find the truth. Thank you. (Law is seated)


Pentateuch: Will the defense please give their opening statement.


Grace: Thank you Your Honor. (scratches head and looks down for a second before beginning)  Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you, as Ms.Law stated already for partaking in the event of upholding the law. I would like to say first of all that everything stated Ms.Law’s opening was completely true. My clients are murderers, adulterers, liars, thieves, and so much more by our own admission. But I am here simply to show that there is a way that this can be expunged from their record if I can prove one thing, one simple act that they claim to have committed years ago can void these treacherous, barbaric acts.

I ask you only to listen and deal accordingly. Thank you.


Pentateuch: Thank you. Would the prosecution please call their first witness?


Law: Thank you Your Honor. The prosecution calls Mr. Christian Mostly to the stand.


Bailiff: Mr. Mostly right this way (shows him how to get into the witnesses seat) thank you. Will you raise your right hand and put your left hand on the Bible please. Now repeat after me. (Defendant nods and repeats what he says) Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God? (Nods again) Alright you may have a seat.

[Bailiff walks down to the side of the room, defendant sits rather nervously in the seat]


Law:  Mr. Mostly, are you aware of why you are in court today?


Christian: Yes ma’am. I am on trial for being a Christian.


Law: Is that how this was explained to you? Well that not quite it sir, would you like to guess again? (shakes head no). You are on trial because you are a murder, a liar, a thief; would you like me to continue? (shakes head no again and looks ashamedly down) Do you understand the consequences if you are charged with these accusations?  (Shakes head yes)

(Law takes a deep breath and walks back to her table and picks up a folder full of papers) I would like to admit to the court article A, a list of trespasses committed by the defendant and confessed on their own admissions.

Pentateuch: Please approach. (Judge reaches out for the paper and nods his head yeas while handing them back to Ms. Law.)


Law: Thank you Your Honor. (approaches witness stand) Mr. Mostly I hold in my hand some incriminating evidence against you. This is here in black and white stating all your sin. Is any of this true? (Flips open top page) You have quite a record here. Stealing, here it says you stole from your own mother?


Christian: I don’t recall…


Law: Are you saying these records are false? (Christian opens mouth to say something but is cut off) Let me rephrase. Mr. Mostly have you ever told a lie?


Christian: Well…Yes Ma’am I suppose I have.


Law: So by your own admission you are a…what do you call someone who lies?


Christian: A liar Ma’am.


Law: So you are a liar?


Christian: I suppose so Ma’am.


Law: You don’t know so?


Christian: Yes Ma’am I am a liar.


Law: So when you say you don’t recall having stolen from your own mother I should…believe you?


Grace: Objection Your Honor, argumentative.


Pentateuch: Sustained, Ms. Law what is your purpose in these questions?


Law: Your Honor I am simply trying to see if we can take what this man says in his own defense to be the truth. He has admitted he is a liar…


Pentateuch: The court now understands that the defendant is a liar; please move on.


Law: Thank you Your Honor. (Flips open papers again and pulls out one sheet) It says here that you  are a Christian. Is that true?


Christian: Yes Ma’am.


Law: And how did you become a Christian?


Christian: Well, I prayed for Jesus to forgive my sins and let me into heaven.


Law: Is that all? It doesn’t show any change in your records from the day you prayed, which I understand to be on the 7th of August, 2001 is that correct (nods) good. It shows no change in lifestyle…wait it looks like you stopped golfing on Sunday mornings for a few month after conversion. Other than that the evidence supporting your ‘claim’ of being a Christian is all on this sheet of paper. (waves paper in the air)

The rest of the paper in this folder is a list of transgressions. What do you have to say about that?


Christian: Well Ma’am when I became a Christian I stopped swearing all the time.


·                Law: Unless you were really angry correct?


·                Christian: Well Ma’am I’m not a saint.


·                Law: Obviously…


·                Grace: Objection Your Honor, the prosecutor is argumentative.


·                Pentateuch: Sustained.


·                Law: What do you have to say about your apparent lack of change after your ‘conversion’?


·                Christian: Well, I changed, I didn’t drink anymore, I didn’t smoke anymore.


·                Law: Do you think you are on trial for drinking and smoking? (Christian has a blank look) Mr. Mostly you are not on trial for drinking and smoking. That is not something we care about in the Law.

·                We would like to see the record of improvement in your moral behavior.


·                Christian: Moral behavior? Like was I nice?


·                Pentateuch: Mr. Mostly you are on trial with your soul in the balance. I would suggest you take this more seriously.


·                Law: Thank you Your Honor. Mr. Mostly how many murders did you commit after your ‘conversion’?


·                Christian: I never murdered anybody!


·                Law: (Walks to her table and picks up a bible) One more time for the record, you said you are a Christian, correct?


·                Christian: Yes…I…


·                Law: As a Christian do you believe that the words in this book are true?


·                Christian: Yes I do…but…


·                Law: Your Honor I would like it noted that the defendant recognizes this book as an authority.


·                Pentateuch: It is noted for the record.


·                Law: Thank you. It says in this book, in Matthew, that if you are angry with a person, you have already murdered them?


·                Christian: Come on, everyone get’s angry with people and they’re not here on trial for murder.


·                Law: Yes but not everyone claims to live by this book.


·                Christian: So I am guilty because I claim to live by that book? That’s not fair.


·                Law: Why should it be fair? You choose to become a Christian correct?


·                Christian: I didn’t realize that I would be condemned for it.


·                Law: You really don’t understand the purpose of the law do you? (Sighs deeply)


Mr. Grace: Your Honor I would like to ask for a brief recess if you will.


Pentateuch: That sounds like a good idea. Court will reconvene at 14 hundred hours (slams gavel) dismissed.




Chapter 2


Law: Mr. Mostly you say that you did not realize you would be condemned for not…how should be put it…upholding the standards of the Bible. Do you feel as though you are being condemned?


Mostly: Yes I do.


Law: Why is that?


Mostly: Because I tried to be a good person. I tried to do the right stuff and now I’m here and I don’t understand why there is all this confusion, I remember..


Law: Can you please tell the court for the record the story of your conversion to Christianity, with a slight background of what you were before?


Mostly: (Timidly at first) Well I was never really a bad guy. I tried a few of the scene things, but I didn’t really think it was fun. I had a better time just hanging out and watching movies and stuff. I mean, drugs are stupid and so is drinking its like a waste of time and money.

            I used to really like going to church on Saturday nights too. The church I went to had a coffee shop and it was open on Saturday’s and we would all go play like ping pong and hacky sack and stuff. It was a lot of fun, and its always better to be at a church instead of out like drinking or something.

            I even got to go on missions trips and stuff. I helped build houses, and did skits for the kids. It seemed like all the people in the church really liked me too. They were always asking me to pray for them and stuff. The only thing I can think of that I didn’t really do well was like worship and the actual teaching. I never really got into worship, I thought it was kind of boring, just like singing. It didn’t seem to have a point. And I always thought the teaching was so boring, I would like check the clock every like 30 seconds to see when we would finally be done. 

            Other than that I tried not to swear, I tried to have good thoughts, and I basically did well I think. Or at least I thought before I came here… (Grace cuts him off)


Law: Did you ever read the bible?


Mostly: Well not every day but like every once in awhile if things started to go down hill I would pick it up and read something. Usually I would turn to Proverbs and see all the things I should do or to the stories in the beginning of the bible cause they were really interesting.


Law: Why is it do you think that you found worship boring? And the teaching boring?


Mostly: What?


Law: Well there must be a reason. Do you really think that everyone would keep going to church if they found it as dull as you did?


Mr. Grace: Objection Your Honor this whole sequence is argumentative.


Pentateuch: Mr. Grace not everything pointed at the witness is argumentative. I am finding this information useful as I think the jury is as well, however Ms. Law please keep the personal remarks and observations to yourself.


Law: Yes Your Honor. Mr. Mostly what I am getting at is that there is an obvious lack of interest in anything actually encouraging a Christian lifestyle. I myself know plenty of people who hang out every week and don’t drink or sleep around. That basically sounds like you, church was a social function for you.





Friday, May 2, 2008


It can get you down sometimes you know?
I suppose that I will always be reminding myself that God is in control, He knows what He is doing and I do not.

See at one time I thought that I would be happy forever if God would just give me a horse.

Then he did.

Then it was a car, a boyfriend, money, and stupid superficial things like that.

Now I know I can be JOYFUL (maybe not always happy though) forever because my Lord has given me salvation.

I wish though that I could feel that amazing love like I did last month. I mean, I was so gone. And so blessed. Now the world is just crashing in and I am feeling it a lot. Its hard. 

Paying for college, worrying about bills, relationships, longing for relationships, friends, family, heartache, lack of coffee, feeling fat and ugly.


But then I could be: starving, dying, have AIDS, have some dangerous communicable disease, be dying of water pollution, have the black plague, be freezing to I could be living in a shack in Indonesia living off of rice an larvae.
But thankfully I'm not.

WOW Jesus has provided so much for me!


It's hard to live at the end of your rope.