I have options, I know but I am holding out for the amazing!
But why is it taking so long?
I love college, and the thought of getting my degree. And its only two more years! But I want it to change now, this monotony is just eating me up.
I wish I could become the girl I want to be, then maybe this would change and I could be loved by someone amazing and not be stuck here anymore. 'Here' is not a place, here is now...is the last 9 months...is the last 20 years?
I will never be the girl I want to be...always cute and smiling and happy.
My clothes are perpetually wrinkled, my hair consistently out of place. My 4 year old cousin might as well help me with my makeup and I only wear 2 different pairs of shoes on a regular basis.
When I go to bed I imagine that somehow I will wake the next morning having developed some sense of style or taste, that my stupid hips would be gone and that my hair would be long and beautiful. I hold on to those hope and try to avoid all mirrors. However... my mom has placed them strategically around our house so that you cannot avoid the inevitable truth that waits around every, yes every, corner.
Still...tomorrow I may be cute. Tomorrow I may develop a taste for daintiness instead of ultimate frisbee, a t shirt and baggy jeans.