But, I put it in the Lord's hands.
And then before I went to bed I read from Phillipians a bit. I read the verses that say 'Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of other' 2:3-4
WOW! Did that ever speak to me. I was planning on reading a chapter or so, but I read that and was like 'Whoa...' and then I laid down and thought and prayed about that as I went to sleep.
What are my motives? Do I want to be in the military because I want to feel high speed? Because I want education benefits? Because I want people to look at me the way they do at my brother when he walks through the airport in that uniform?
Well...yes.
But now I realize that is all worthless. Yeah, I do want education benefits but that is the lamest excuse ever. The military is cool, they do some cool stuff and its just awesome to me. But none of that is enough.
I guess now I realize that it is good I never got in, because my motives were wrong. I still want too, but I am asking the Lord to help change my heart. As I was going to bed I tried to picture ever woman I know who doesn't want to be in the military wearing a burka and basically being treated like a dog. I pictured the young men I know who don't feel as though they 'want' (pathetic...) to serve their country being shot by people invading. I pictured my family getting taken and tortured, my city burning, my friends being killed. I thought about all of this horrible stuff and decided that I want to go in the military because I never want to see any of that stuff happen.
I guess I realized that there is a lot to fight for, and even if I never get to fight for it with my nation, I will still fight. I realize that the reason to be a part of it is so that the people I love can still live the way they live. So that the young and able boys I know can have the right to not want to be a part of the military because a girl stepped up! Not that I would do anything other than nursing and admin stuff, probably never touch a gun outside of basic, but all the same. I would not be the end of the spear, but one of the little pieces of wood that makes up the strong shaft that allows the head to be strong.
Yeah! So, I will not despair. It is in the Lord's hands. At least now I know what to fight for.
5 comments:
Amen Sista
Do you really think that the Islam club is big and organized enough to launch a large scale occupation of the United States? (not a rhetorical question)
I'm more apprehensive about our next president-The Obamantichrist. Wiretapping and middle of the night, home raids by the Nat'l gestapo in a Stalin-esque America, THAT's my nightmare.
And God can manufacture much even from impure motives-think about the disciples!
I hope you get in. I think it would be a lot of fun for you. And useful too.
Dude - there are SO many more jobs available for women in the military, now. Seriously! I only know all of this because of my husband, but there's SO many opportunities for women, now. So don't think you'll "only" be a nurse or admin, but actually look into it - there are SO many other positions that I can't really tell you about on blogger... but really.
Also - are you only looking at the Army? Or other branches, too?
Well you see I have been trying to get in the army as 68 delta for about four years, I spent about 8 months working on getting in the air force, and decided to call it quits for awhile. i have an autoimmune disease so they are a little squeamish about letting me in.
Hopefully someday it will be in the Lord's plan that I make it in, if not...than ok.
I have looking into every branch, my dream would be the Navy. The army looks more likely, and I am really not to interested in the air force for my specialty (they don't have 68-D as an MOS). And the air force doesn't want me any ways!
The Air Force is being super picky about EVERYTHING right now, because they have too many people. They've never had a problem with recruiting, and now that's a problem for them. So don't feel like your'e the only one there. But with the Army... hmm... I don't know why they haven't recruited you, yet. I'd think they'd be jumping all over the chance to do that!
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