I was reading in Hebrews today and something that stuck out to me was in 13:18 "Pray for us, for we are confident that we have a good conscience in all things desiring to live honorably". I would endeavor to be able to say that. I could say " Pray for me, for I would like to have a good conscience and in all things to desiring to live honorably". I definitely have not arrived. It is hard to have a good conscience. I fear that my conscience is seared having seen so much sin, whether from the media, from experience, or from the depths of my own mind there is much I would rather have left buried yet in my desire for sin I unearthed it.
I believe though that I cannot serve two masters. As I desire righteousness I put this desire for sin away. Its like weight loss. I cannot truly desire to be athletic and yet do nothing about it. It is a passing desire if that is the case, probably not very deep seeded and more like a "oh I wish that could happen" type of thing. At least, that is my thought on it.
I was watching a movie last night with Michael and one of the parts I liked the best was a small conversation between the bad guy, an Apache "bruha" (witch doctor) and Tommy Lee Jones' character (obviously the good guy). The Bruha tells him there are two dogs inside of him, one good and one evil. They are constantly fighting, who is the one who wins? Jones' answer was "probably the one I feed more". How interesting. If I feed the good dog more, he can prevail against the evil one. Unfortunately, the same works the other way. I would like to think that even if I feed the evil dog more the good one will just be dormant for awhile but no, the good one loses ground when I feed the evil one more. The good then has to overcome a mind full of memories, a conscience defiled, and how much harder is that to do? Quite a lot.