Honeylove.

Yes, that is how I refer to Evelyn most of the time. My little honeylove. Poor little honey has had a sour tummy the last few days. Every two hours we go through the arduous process of trying to nurse, she is hungry but won't latch on because her poor tummy hurts. She just sits there and cries and cries until she has swollen red eyes and is her little lip is quivering. Then I don't know what to do. I try anything to get her to nurse, obviously (because she is starting to get chunky) she does nurse well and eventually after a lot of crying she will eat. Its a hard experience for both of us though.

Today we tried a little gripe water, it seemed to work initially, at least it got her smacking her lips enough from the taste that she nursed well after having it. But then when I had her in the swing (finally sleeping!) she starting sounding like she was drowning in her throat, and then she screamed out in her sleep so I went to pick her up. She looked so pale with her contrasting red eyes from all the crying. Now I have her sleeping on me, she scared me with how pale she looked and then she was so floppy and pliable poor Momma almost had a breakdown. I held it together though, even Michael sitting right next to me didn't notice.

Too many scary aspects involved when trying to take care of such a little and vulnerable person. I have been on the verge of calling my doctor all day, asking her what I should do. I don't know if my diet has her tummy upset, or if its just normal. The amount of her crying the last few days does not seem like it could be normal. I just want to know that she is doing ok, if something I am doing is making her not do well than I will change that. ugh...this is even harder than marriage! Oh the things they (the infamous they) don't tell you.

Poor little honeylove.