Back at work. It is hard not to think about the baby and how she needs me. Yesterday was my first day being back and it was a crazy day in the ER. It was easier for me not to think about her while I was constantly busy.
However when I went home...I found daddy and baby distraught. Baby had dried tear trails on her face. Her eyelashes were crusted from tears and her little face was so sad looking. She was very relieved I think to have me home, she visibly relaxed when I held her and obviously was contented when I fed her. She did not take the bottle well yesterday even though I have been diligent to give her a bottle or two daily to try and get her used to it. Poor little dear.
Michael wanted to bring her by today before church so that I could feed her. I was all down with that idea until I got in the car and was driving to work. I started thinking about it more and I think she really does (as much as it stinks) need to get used to this. If she doesn't get used to it then this is going to be rough for both of us. So he is going to bring her in after church for me to feed her, at least that way she has to wait a few hours and should be really hungry. I think he was a little miffed at me for not letting him bring her in, the prospect of having an unhappy baby at church is not very attractive.
I think now he understands what it is like at home. It is hard! It is easier for me since I have everything she needs and I have been with her since she was born, but it is still hard. It is hard to get the laundry done, and dishes, and grocery shopping, and cleaning, and taking care of the baby. It is hard to think of going back to work while still having to accomplish all of those things in my days off. I had a hard time completing them when I was not working!
Pray for me, pray for baby, pray for Michael. It is going to be a hard week. It is already a hard day.