Moving!

This blog is MOVING! Yes! I am finally merging this blog with my other email address (it will make my life easier). So if you want to still follow me, go to here and follow along!

Vacation!

Vacation.

I feel tired.

This picture is a good representation of how I feel. Tired. Yet...I also am looking forward to my day.

It has been a rough two days at work for me. First, on monday night I helped someone get into their car after they had been discharged from the hospital. After I had put her in her car and she grabbed me by the collar of shirt and told me frantically "I'm going to die, I'm going to die. I'm dying!"

What you know, about five minutes later, in the car with her husband and daughter, she died. What am I supposed to do about that? There was nothing I could do, she was terminally ill. But still, I just put her in her car and went back to my work. Rough. She was scared enough of death for me to think that she didn't know where she was going to be when she died. And I said nothing.

On tuesday night it was just annoying patients mostly and gross clean up after said annoying patients. However there was one cute little lady with a big black eye that sticks out in my mind. She was a sweetheart. She had just come from her sisters funeral and was having a drink with her family that had come from all over for the funeral. She hadn't been out in a long time, more than a year, because of surgeries and illnesses. She had a drink, then she passed out. Broke her facial bones and her arm. She was so embarrassed. It had nothing to do with the alcohol either, it just happened. Talk about a rough day for her. It makes me really sad to see people suffering. I always try to put on a good face but...it still affects me inside.

If anyone from work is reading this they may be thinking I need to lighten up, not take things so seriously, it's life etc. I don't act like it affects me at work...? But at work its easy to turn off emotion. In the car on the way home, laying in bed going to sleep, and all the next day, I think about it. I must be to soft for this job.

There's more I've been dealing with, but I will wait for another time to try and put it into words. My baby is being patient (she woke up about a paragraph ago) just sitting on my lap talking away, playing with my necklace, but I need to play with her now :)

Sunshine.

My cute little baby and I were out in the yard. I was working on my flower beds, she was playing on her quilt.

Until she got sick of it. Then into the carrier! My working buddy.

...and my working buddy didn't last too long!

Family.

Modern Mommy

This is not directed at anyone, I promise! It is jut the plight of the modern mommy as some of my other friends have explained to me, it is a constant battle with technology, especially as kids get older. A true love hate relationship. So, I put it into rhyme. It sometimes makes it easier to understand, more black and white I suppose.

Modern Mommy

"Modern mommy" is not the mommy

That I would like to be.

It is much to busy, far to rushed

For a tired mommy like me.

The modern mommy can balance,

A blackberry, iPhone or Droid.

Updating her facebook, email, and more.

While kiddos sit ignored.

When little hands are tugging

Mommy to come and play

She says "just a second honey"

And now her status will say:

"the kids keep distracting me,

so dinner is late again,

daddy will be home soon,

and lend a helping hand"

She closes out the windows

On the computer screen

The blogs that she is reading

The email's still unseen

An old friend from high school

Ask's if she can chat

Its been so long,

She decides to take a minute for that.

By the time that mommy is ready

To finally go and play

The kids have decided

To spend their time another way.

The TV screen is on,

Nothing can distract their gaze.

Mommy sighs and walks away

Says quietly "Kids these days"

As she walks away she sees

The laundry piled high

The picture she's been meaning to fix

The dog's water bowl is dry

All these things, so basic

It happens to the best, I know

But this while she was unaware

Cause she was watching her favorite show.

To modern kids it is the norm

To let others entertain

While mommy is to busy

To read that story again

Instead its disney that does the work,

Entertainment very fake,

Imaginations put at bay

While mommy takes a break,

A mommy is a person

That cannot be replaced.

But sadly now technology

Has inched into her place.

The modern mommy is a tragedy

To mommy's everywhere.

To modern mommy it is ok

To waste time unaware.

Time is not something

That anyone should waste

It passes by so constant

At far to quick a pace

The kids will soon be grown

Their imaginations dulled

Teach them all you know

Before they go out to the world

Then you can spend

All day wasting time

When you have it heaps and spades

You'll realize you were blind

Blind to what you had,

So few years ago,

While you were far to busy

Those little kids did grow

So take a break, please

Go old fashioned again

Forget about status updates

And adding that new friend

Turn off all the gadgets

Invest in something great,

You never will regret it,

Now is not to late,

Teach the kids what you know

Read that story once more,

Forget about modern mommy,

You've better things in store.

Self condemnation!! Now realize, I am writing this on a computer. I don't find technology repulsive, but man, it is a waste of time to do much of what we do online. I am glad I don't have internet or TV at my house. I don't have a smart phone, heck my phone barely gets reception at my house. I'm not boasting, I need these parameters so that I don't waste my time. I have been convicted that Satan doesn't need to send me trials to get me to stumble if he can just get me to waste my time.

My kid is my greatest mission field yet, I only hope to do it right.

Making things.

We have been working on things to sell on our Etsy Store. My focus is on homemade items like baby slings, necklaces, and kids stuff. Michael is working on handmade wood items like pepper mills, cutting boards, pipes, and yesterday we designed our first dollhouse. It is going very well!

Here are some pictures of me with baby girl in her sling.

I am also making these nice flannel burp rags, someone gave me some store bought ones and I LOVE them. Perfect size to throw over the shoulder or in a diaper bag and they are super cute. Plus, I found this wonderful flannel for only $2.50 a yard!

Little baby laughing.

Evelyn Throwing a Fit

So she has found her voice! It's really very cute...for now.

Diapers #2

For those of you who read my diaper review, this may interest you. If you were bored with the diaper review, you may want to find another way to spend your time as opposed to finishing this post.

My baby is growing! Yes, she is still just under 14lbs but still. She is growing. She feels very big to me, but she is still a snuggly and cuddly little sweat pea. She is absolutely amazing! Being a mommy is so much better than I thought or hoped it would be. Some things are not as hard as I figured, other things are much harder. Washing cloth diapers: super easy. Washing the rest of our clothes? Um...washing our clothes? The big people clothes are a whole different story. I always think "oh they can wait" until Michael has no boxers left...then I have to do them. The whole cloth diaper process is actually surprisingly simple. I half expected myself to not go through with it because of the extra work. After buying some disposable diapers for overnight and traveling though I decided I can't give up, our budget won't allow it! It really is simple though, and now that I have been doing it for two months I don't think I would go disposable if I didn't have to worry about cost. If I were her, I would want the cloth.

Also *side note* she has not had any diaper rash issues. Her little butt is in perfect shape :) I give her buns air time and/or sun time every day and it has worked grand. No yeast, no rash, she's healthy and happy.

So, on to the diaper review. I said I would update when she was going up to the next size and (dun da da duunnnn) she is now moving up a size. Wowza. My lil baby! A lot of what I said previously still stands, but I do need to make some alterations and updates.

I started before with Knickernappies, so I will start there again. I have a size small and a One Size on the smallest setting. I still think that the snap system on the Knickernappies is redonculous and hard to do on a little wiggly baby. And it seems to fold over under her belly fit kind of weird, it is the only dipe that does that. Also, a big complaint is that the shell is definitely not waterproof. I have double lined these puppies and no dice, they leak quite often. I only have two knickernappies and they are always saved until last when its laundry day and I just need to get through the end of the day. Knickernappies would still get a thumbs down from me. One positive thing for the One Size Knickernappies is that it shrinks a little and fits better once it is washed. It is still huge for a little baby and all the other brands have a better One Size, but it does get slightly better. Overall 3/10.

Next is theGrovia One Size. I gave the Grovia only a 2/5 for fit before. I would update that now to a 4/5. As she got bigger the diaper got better and is now one of my favorites for fit and anti leakage. I don't think I have had leaking problems with this diaper in weeks. As for style, the snaps on this diaper are wonderful. They are definitely the highest quality snaps are super easy to use, the only problem is figuring out how it all is supposed to layer together before snapping it. Since it is not a diaper you stuff, the lining is built in, it takes some finagling to get it right while putting it on. To me its not very hard but Michael gives it a big thumbs down. The biggest thumbs down for this diaper is that is stains SUPER bad. It looks pretty gross. It is the only diaper that I have noticed to stain horribly. For that reason I give it an overall 6/10.
Here is the Grovia strait from the wash (clean wash...):


Kissaluvs One Size. I don't like it. The snap system in the front is weird, the only options are either too tight or too loose. This is another one I save for diaper wash day because I hate using it. Its easy to clean and it works like advertised in the wash, the liner works its way out and it does get very clean. Does that matter when it does not fit right and tends to leak a bit? I think not. Overall 4/10

Happy Heiny's One Size and size small fitted. These diapers probably look the cutest. The one size I have (as you can see) has little monkey's on it. So cute! Michael likes these because they are the easiest to put on, the velcro snaps are even better than the Bumgenies ones. However...they leak. Really bad, every time. I have tried double lining, hemp inserts, all of it. They just leak. They are not waterproof in the slightest, any bit of moisture leaks through enough that when you pick baby up you can feel if she just wet because its coming through her pants! Very annoying. So I use these when I know I am going to be changing her right away again, like in the morning when she goes all the time. For style 10/10. Overall 3/10 (leaks stink).
In her One Size with the Monkeys:


Fuzzibunz I only have one of these and it is a fitted size small, same thoughts as before. Not too great, not too bad. I wouldn't buy a lot of them, cause they aren't the best. Just ok. Overall 6/10

Bumgenius still has a good rating from me. They get pretty clean in the wash, they are easy to stuff, easy to use, fit well, don't leak if the insert is placed right, and they are not ridiculously huge. I like this diaper! 9/10 (because they stain just a bit)
Bumgenius after being washed, just a little stained.


Doopsy is still my favorite. I would buy the Doopsy R and then by hemp inserts separate. You don't always need the hemp, just if they are in it for awhile or really heavy wetters. I have never used the SD insert, its just too darn bulky. These fit wonderfully, are nice and trim, come very clean (definitely the cleanest) in the wash and are easy to stuff. 10/10
Here is the Doopsy after being washed, nice and clean:

Baby girl in her Doopsy.


Time will tell how all of these diapers hold up in the long run, so far only the Grovia is showing wear and tear at all. Thanks for reading!
Diaper wash day, all clean!

Not too bulky huh? This is with a Bumgenius, a little bulkier than the doopsy.

Little cutie! This is with a Doopsy (and an ambitious 2.5 month old holding her head up!)

The dog loves to snuggle up to the baby. I usually don't let him, but for this pictures I did. Enjoy :)

Back in the real world.

Back at work. It is hard not to think about the baby and how she needs me. Yesterday was my first day being back and it was a crazy day in the ER. It was easier for me not to think about her while I was constantly busy.

However when I went home...I found daddy and baby distraught. Baby had dried tear trails on her face. Her eyelashes were crusted from tears and her little face was so sad looking. She was very relieved I think to have me home, she visibly relaxed when I held her and obviously was contented when I fed her. She did not take the bottle well yesterday even though I have been diligent to give her a bottle or two daily to try and get her used to it. Poor little dear.

Michael wanted to bring her by today before church so that I could feed her. I was all down with that idea until I got in the car and was driving to work. I started thinking about it more and I think she really does (as much as it stinks) need to get used to this. If she doesn't get used to it then this is going to be rough for both of us. So he is going to bring her in after church for me to feed her, at least that way she has to wait a few hours and should be really hungry. I think he was a little miffed at me for not letting him bring her in, the prospect of having an unhappy baby at church is not very attractive.

I think now he understands what it is like at home. It is hard! It is easier for me since I have everything she needs and I have been with her since she was born, but it is still hard. It is hard to get the laundry done, and dishes, and grocery shopping, and cleaning, and taking care of the baby. It is hard to think of going back to work while still having to accomplish all of those things in my days off. I had a hard time completing them when I was not working!

Pray for me, pray for baby, pray for Michael. It is going to be a hard week. It is already a hard day.

for a friend.

Some of the beauty of Minnesota and Wisconsin
I am putting these up here for a friend who I am trying to convince to come visit the great Midwest this summer. Enjoy!


Beautiful river and lakes.





Baypoint Park boat docks.



This is of my favorite park in Red Wing, complete with a beautiful fountain behind where I am standing taking the picture.



Also part of the park.



An ariel view of some amazing landscape...taken by yours truly from the seat of a Cessna.



One of my favorite places to go in Wisconsin. The Johnson Farm.







Amazing blue skies.





Awesome storms.









So, as you can see, you would love it here friend. Come visit!