Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Going into class.

So I have about 20 minutes before class starts, its very strange to be back at college. I missed it because I love learning and honestly, as much as I may whine about it, I love school. I love knowing that I am learning things and even more, I love knowing things. I tried to explain this to Michael and he said he just didn't understand and that knowing things wasn't as important to him. Its not that I want to be a know it all I just like to know that I know things. Do you know what I mean? Its more for my own personal gain.

On to other news. I need to spend more time with the Lord time with the Lord.
I look at my bible and, this is awful to say, I think I will get to it later. And then I never do. And I will go hours, days, a week even without picking it up. Who knows why? Ugh...I know why.
Like I must remind myself in my relationship with my husband, love is a choice. I need to choose daily to love the Lord. It shouldn't be hard...but it is. I think it would be easier if I felt His love tangibly like I used too, because I used to didn't I? I think I did. I think the more I push him away the more my heart gets cold and the less desire it has to be warm again. Its like my heart is so unhealthy it doesn't mind being unhealthy anymore.

But it does mind, from now on, it does. I am going to commit to spending time daily. I will. I will. I must.
Thank you.


Tammy said...

How's this going for you now since it's Thursday? You're right about it being a choice.

Did you know on your blog the part that says "time with the Lord" has a line going through it for some reason.

I love you, honey.

Melody said...

Its supposed to have a line going through it mom, read it again and I think you will understand it.

E. Chikeles said...

lol- poor Mom

I think that feeling close with the Lord thing changes when you get married... and again when you have a kid. Must be what Paul was talking about your time being divided and your priorities different...

But thats not to say you shouldn't read more. I totally agree. I, especially since having M., have had to decide the moment I remember to read my Bible to push everything else off and go read... I always get more done if I sit and read first then if I don't but I seem to forget that all too often and push Bible time away again... ;)

How do you do that line thing anyway???

Kristen said...

I've found that everytime there is a major change in my life, the priorities get all messed up for a while and often, god gets the short end of the stick. In fact, I'm struggling with that right now. Then after a dry spell, I begin to miss Him. The closeness, intimacy, and connectedness I realize really are important to me. So then things get shuffled around again as I put Him back in His rightful place in my life.

Thank you for the reminder...