Margaret Anne Chikeles

My niece is here :)
She was 9lbs 4oz and 21 inches long, my sister had her without a drop of pain meds and she did wonderful! She is the most beautiful and alert baby ever!

This is home.

This song does a good job of explaining how I feel about my current situation. I realized today that I need to stop going to Red Wing (the town my parents old house is in) because it just makes me sad. I just feel like I should go home, see my family, something like that when I am there, its all so familiar. But its not real anymore. I just need to get used to this!


I’ve got my memories
Always inside of me
But I cant go back, back to how it was

I believe now
Ive come too far
No I cant go back, back to how it was

Created for a place ive never known
This is home
Now im finally where I belong, where I belong
Yah this is home, ive been searching for a place of my own,
Now I found it, maybe this is home
Yes this is home

Belief over misery
I seen the enemy
And I wont go back, back to how it was
And I got my heart set on what happens next
I got my eyes wide its not over yet
We miracles, and were not alone

Yah this is home, now im finally where I belong
Yea this is home, ive been searching for a place of my own,
Now I found it, maybe this is home
Yes this is home

And now, after all my searching
After all my questions
Im going to call it home
I got a brand new mind set
I can finally see the sunset
Im gonna call it home

Home, this is home
Now Im finally where I belong, belong
Yes this is home,
Ive been searching for a place of my own
Now I found it,
Maybe this is home
This is home

Now I know
Yea this is home

Ive come too far
And I wont go back
Yea this is home

Home stretch.

Well everyone, we are in the home stretch. My mom is leaving tomorrow to live with my sister until after the baby is born and then she is back to Canada. I'm dropping Daniel off on Friday for his annual Army training at Fort Ripley and he will be gone until after the house is closed on, so this is the last few days of living at home with my baby brother. Its like I already let go of my sister, she was gone awhile ago. I have been letting go of mom and dad for awhile now, but now it Daniel. Probably my best friend other than Michael and my sister. I'm going to wake up on Friday morning and make him a big old fashioned breakfast, finish moving all the boxes out of the house and then drive him to Rochester and drop him off.

It will be hard going back to an empty house...again. I will miss living at home with my family. I will miss having a home with my family. I hope Michael and I will have a house that will allow my brother to have a room since he won't have a home base here anymore.

You know, you gotta hand it to my parents. This is rough you guys, but they are following the Lord. How many people do you know who would up and go to a different country because they felt it was where the Lord was leading? It may not be the "perfect" plan but it is the most perfect plan at the same time. God's plan is perfect. Ours is so finite, focused on comfort and longing. Thankfully my parents are seeking the Lord and trying to follow His will. It would stink for them to stay in this house in our comfortable lives only to be disobeying the Lord!

That being said, its still not easy. I think I may have to move out of my house sooner than I thought because I can't stand to be here all alone. Thankfully God has put special people in my life for such a time as this. I don't know who I would turn to if it wasn't for the new friends He has put directly in my path. So...thanks. From the bottom of my heart, thanks.

And maybe...I can get through the next month.

Maybe.


Still...
God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

Clever!

Our God is so clever! Today my brother and I went for a walk in the cannon bottoms (it is in between some bluffs, which are like big rocky bite size mountains) and it was awesome! So beautiful. All while we were walking we got talking. God is so clever! We decided we were both so thankful God chose to make the sky so blue and the leaves green! Fortunately the sky isn't pink and leaves purple. God just made everything so PERFECT! Creation screams out the glory of the Lord!

I just find so much comfort in being able to look at the world and see it as a glorious creation by a loving and willing God. How blessed are we?

I think of my mornings, He made mornings for people like me. Coffee brewing with that comforting sound, how did He make that first sip taste so wonderful? Leaves that rustle in the wind, birds that sing praises. Don't you think birds sound like they are singing to the Lord? I bet you they are. I wonder if birds know that it is the Lord who watches over them and provides for them. I wonder if the sparrows care that they got an honourable mention in scripture. Reading my bible is always so refreshing. I know on the days I don't get to it (which are become few, I have been strongly convicted and here I share) I feel lethargic in my soul. I feel as though I am saying to the Lord "Don't worry, I can get through this day without You" Its like He is waiting there to help and sees me doing things on my own. I just am like that 5 year old trying to lift 100lbs and I keep looking at my dad standing there who wants to help and yet I say "No I can get it, just let me do it" while they 100lbs never budges. So my reading is a joyful resignation that I cannot do it on my own.

I feel like I'm rambling, probably because I am. Its just that the Lord is so good! Things have been so hard lately and yet He just gives me goodness and joy thats just...unexplainable! Its the peace that surpasses understanding. He has let me have a little :)

Awesome!

A recap.

This is a blog from the past. I think its from the middle of November but just read it and realize how much my heart has changed since then! I read it and was amazed! God is so good!

So tonight I rallied the troops and we all got together for around the world ping pong at church, egyptian roadkill, president, and to end it all some great games of mafia. Seriously, tonight was fun. We also had pizza and Mt. Dew :)

Although I enjoy these times of just getting together and laughing and having a good time I really wish that we did more. I feel as though we are a bunch of young lives that have a lot of potential but we waste it every weekend by just hanging out and having a good time. I don't know what I am waiting for really, but it is something big. Maybe my next big step towards the call God has placed on my life is becoming Michael's wife.

I keep wondering...what if the ultimate call God has placed on my life is not to be a police officer, a paramedic, a nurse, and on the SWAT team. What if I need to give up those things, those dreams I have held on to for so long and surrender to another plan? Not necessarily a bad or lesser plan but just a different one? What if the Lord has called me to be Michael's wife. His support. A good mother who raises Godly children. Can I settle with that ultimate goal? Can I do more than settle? Can I rejoice in the awesomeness of the Lord through that? I think I can. I have to learn to let go of my pride. My pride says that I need my degree to amount to something. It says that I need to get a good job and have an earthly title. My flesh screams for it. The Word of the Lord contradicts it however.

The Bible says to not seek earthly titles. They only "puff up" the flesh. So now I am really struggling with this. I have some of the more liberal christians out there who tell me "Oh you don't have to give up your dreams! You can still do those things and be Michael's wife!" I know this but really and truly if I go biblically, a wife stays at home. Raises her children and supports her husband. The only time a woman steps up is when there are no men to do the job. Like Deborah in Judges. She had to step in to fill the gap because there were no righteous men around. Now we can look at this and say that in the modern world it doesn't apply. Life is so different now. Does this go across the board or just for this though? Are we also supposed to not follow whatever examples seem "outdated" in the Word?

I'm not saying that I am going to be a stay at home mom and not do anything but raise my kids for my whole life. I don't know what I will do! I am just sharing what has been going through my mind lately. I want to be obedient to the Lord and He is showing me these little tidbits the more I seek Him. The more I seek Him I come to see this path as a blessing not a curse. I am excited someday to stay at home with my kids. It is a high calling.

I am still working out in my head and my heart the surrendering part. It is hard for me to grasp but if I can't surrender this part of my life and say "Lord, take it" then what am I? A sorry christian thats for sure. I need to surrender every single part of my life and that means even the parts I have planned and be willing for the Lord to change them. I think I am willing. I hope I am willing.





Wow! See I told you that was interesting!

Obsessed?

Another tidbit of wisdom from Oswald Chambers. "My Utmost for His Highest" has always convicted me but in the light of my present worries this one really got me! Read and be blessed:

Are you obsessed by something? You will probably say, "No, by nothing," but all of us are obsessed by something— usually by ourselves, or, if we are Christians, by our own experience of the Christian life. But the psalmist says that we are to be obsessed by God. The abiding awareness of the Christian life is to be God Himself, not just thoughts about Him. The total being of our life inside and out is to be absolutely obsessed by the presence of God. A child’s awareness is so absorbed in his mother that although he is not consciously thinking of her, when a problem arises, the abiding relationship is that with the mother. In that same way, we are to "live and move and have our being" in God ( Acts 17:28 ), looking at everything in relation to Him, because our abiding awareness of Him continually pushes itself to the forefront of our lives.

If we are obsessed by God, nothing else can get into our lives— not concerns, nor tribulation, nor worries. And now we understand why our Lord so emphasized the sin of worrying. How can we dare to be so absolutely unbelieving when God totally surrounds us? To be obsessed by God is to have an effective barricade against all the assaults of the enemy.

"He himself shall dwell in prosperity . . ." ( Psalm 25:13 ). God will cause us to "dwell in prosperity," keeping us at ease, even in the midst of tribulation, misunderstanding, and slander, if our "life is hidden with Christ in God" (Colossians 3:3). We rob ourselves of the miraculous, revealed truth of this abiding companionship with God. "God is our refuge . . ." ( Psalm 46:1 ). Nothing can break through His shelter of protection.