Leaving.

All of the college kids are leaving and its sad. Brette, Daniel, Bekah, its all just no good. Oh well. 

Just...

Learn to let go. I tell myself this but its not working. 

PRAY FOR ME!

I passed my CNA so now I applied for the nursing program, pray I get it! I have one C on my record which puts me down a bit and may ruin me...but pray!

If I don't get that than I am automatically in the criminal justice program and will be done by next may. SO yeah...but I want nursing!

Doldrums.

I have them. I am sick of doing school and working and treading water in life waiting for something to happen. 

I am sick of hoping for love and only getting heartbreak when I realize no one loves me like that who I can truthfully love back. And I am sick of men falling in love with me when I know I could never love them the way they would want me too. 

AH. Lets just say I am sick of it all...

I wish I could live in the solace of my guitar. I wish I could always sleep on the rooftop where all I see is stars, I wish I had someone, I wish I had best friends like I did when I was little and we could giggle all night long about nothing and be happy, I wish relationships didn't change. 

And I wish people didn't die. 

Or lie to me when they say they would change and then they don't when I have put so much hope in them. 

I feel like King David, lamenting over all the things in my life that bring me sorrow...focus Melody focus! Jesus, the one you claim to love is here. He is catching your tears and holding you close when sobs rack your heart! He is telling you not to worry and to focus! To focus on eternity!

Oh my soul be still...or else you will go insane. 

Pictures.

I went out to take some pictures with Brette again today, so enjoy!

And now for more from my beautiful model, Brette VanLoon. I get good practice in picture taking and she makes it easy cause she's pretty dang gorgeous!

So thats it from a little downtown Red Wing sabbatical!

CNA

So I just finished taking a nursing assistant class. Yay for me! 

It was mostly fun, but quite frankly the clinicals were not so great. I made a guy pass out in the EZ lift! AHHHH! But anyways. The class itself was fun, especially the lab portion. I mostly worked with a girl named Amy and we had a blast. I mean what makes quicker friends than practicing placing bedpans and giving partial baths? So even though I have no desire to be an NA, I needed to take the class in order to get into my Nursing Program. 

So now its back to real life after taking two weeks in classes and hanging out in the lab. Oh well!

Movies.

=SPOILER WARNING: This is a note by me about something that has been on my heart for awhile. While I hope the everyone would be sensitive to the Holy Spirit in their lives, I am not trying to be that Holy Spirit. Nor am I presenting a sermon. Take it all with a grain of salt and realize that I cannot convict you, nor am I trying to. I can only tell you what convicted me and hope that you can see my point. 


So on to movies, which is a good subject. Mostly because pretty much everyone I know (including myself) compromises on what we put before our eyes. First of all, I would like to say that I am guilty of setting my eyes before some pretty disgusting stuff. Funny how when we are all alone it is easy to click to a channel that has a cool show on it that you would never watch were your christian friends in the room. Like "Friends" which is all about sex and sleeping around and dirty jokes, or "Desperate Housewives" which is pretty similar, or even things more crude like MTV. Basically, with a remote in our hands we have access to slightly airbrushed pornography just in the nature of the suggestions on screen. Like it or not, the disgusting "P" word we all hate to use is on the TV. And if you have turned on the TV, likelihood is you have looked at pornography. Or been to a movie with blatant sex scenes, or even implied sex between people outside of marriage!

A few movies that exemplify this airbrushed "P" can slip by our radar:

-Across the Universe, never seen it but I read the plot synopsis and jeepers. I looked up the review on plugged in online and wow! Homosexual activity, teenagers blatantly sleeping together, multiple hook ups. Christians, we need to pay attention to putting this stuff before us. 
http://www.pluggedinonline.com/movies/movies/a0003438.cfm

-Rent, also never saw it but this movie is pretty much all about homosexuality and puts it in a way that you will justify it and it will desensitize you to the sin that it is. 
http://www.pluggedinonline.com/movies/movies/a0002427.cfm

Here is a quick list of movies with open sex scenes in them that I have recently heard respected christians say that they enjoyed (although I haven't seen them I looked them up on plugged in):
-21
-Troy (Actually I did see this one and until recently didn't find much issue with it)
-300
-Atonement (nothing may be shown but a lot is implied and heard!)
-Tristan and Isolde
-Enemy at the Gates

And those are just few. 

First, let me show you what convicted me and changed my heart. I mean I used to be pretty lax about movies, Braveheart was my favorite until I examined my walk a little. I think what I am willing to set before my eyes shows a little bit of my heart and makes me calloused. 

In Ephesians chapter 5 I found a lot of things that back up my very strict thoughts on movies and entertainment. Lets look first at verse 1 and 2:

1Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Thats pretty sweet huh? Be imitators of God. First, what is God like? Well He is the ten commandments and the fruits of the spirit. He is honorable, doesn't lie, doesn't cheat, doesn't steal, doesn't commit adultery, doesn't disobey parents, he is love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, self control, gentleness, and we could keep going but thats it for now. He is perfection. So we should emulate perfection. It's hard, but we are commanded...yes COMMANDED not as an option, to try. And as Yoda says, there is no try, there is do or do not. If we have it in our heads that it is to hard and we can't do that then we already completed the "do not" in our heads. Everyday we have a chance to emulate our Lord and live perfectly for Him. Almost every day I fail, but I try not to start my day saying "Well there is no way I am going to not sin today so whatever, why even try"instead I pray the Lord would give me the strength to live like Him. 

3But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.

That is powerful stuff. Not even a HINT, like a suggestion, nothing. Sexual immorality could look like a movie, could sound like a song, could present like a picture...it's everywhere. How do we justify the sexual immorality we indulge in when we watch a movie with unwed people sleeping together? In almost every movie? Simple. "Its just one bad scene, the rest is really good!". Brothers, sisters, I pray that the Lord would convict you the way He has me that one scene is more than enough. One scene is definitely a "hint". Matthew 5:27 says: "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart." I noticed that I need to be careful where I look and what I find in my heart when I look there!

4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 5For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.

I'm pretty bad at this one. Foolish talk and coarse joking are so easy to do! But we need to mind our mouths, because that is what the world hears from us. If my jokes and my talking is the same is unsaved Earl down the street, I am ashamed to bear the name "Christian" which means "Little Christ". There was no problem telling that Jesus was different, and if I am a blend in bessie than I am disgracing my Lord. 

8For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10and find out what pleases the Lord. 

I love the end of that, find out what pleases the Lord. I wonder if Jesus is pleased with my forms of entertainment, but my guess would be no. I think He is more now than ever, yet I still need refining. 

11Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret.

We do more than mention what the disobedient do in secret, we make movies and pay to see it. Brothers and sisters I am not trying to say I am more righteous. I'm not. All I am trying to do it show you that no matter how I justify it and say that its alright, the things I read, see, listen to, and talk about show who I believe God to be. Have NOTHING TO DO WITH FRUITLESS DEEDS OF DARKNESS. Thats strong stuff! Nothing to do is...well...nothing. I have been to one movie all summer and I regret it. There are better ways to spend the time that the Lord has given me. 

There is much much more to life than seeing a movie. 

Matthew 7:3 "Why do you see the speck in your brother's eye but fail to notice the beam in your own eye?" I worked hard through this to make sure that I wasn't just squinting past the beam in my eye to focus on the sin of others, and although I still sin, I feel like I am finally in a place to write a blog about this subject. 

Well guys, hopefully you are encouraged. Much love me amigos!

The Dark Knight

I went and saw it tonight...ugh. I gave in after hearing that it was such a good movie with such a good moral message. Right...buried underneath a staggering body count. It was probably the darkest, most depressing, unredeemed, and disturbing movie I have ever seen.

Ok guys, I'm not trying to be legalistic but really! It was 2.5 hours of death, killing, and lying for a small redemption at the end. Maybe I'm crazy but it just was disturbing. What is the point of watching that? Its just so dark. I did not, nor did anyone in my group, leave the theatre feeling good about that movie. So I asked people why watch it...and they told me because of the redemption in the end. Batman takes the wrong on his shoulders even though he didn't do any wrong...wait a minute I think I've heard this story before.

Oh yeah you can read about it in the bible without wading through hours of darkness and needless brutality.