Liberia.

My mother in law is going to Liberia in April. She is adopting a baby girl from there too. I have such a desire to go! I cannot explain what happens in me when I am aching to just go. I want to go on a trip again and more than that, a missions trip. I miss traveling, I miss the different cultures, I miss the closeness I feel to the Lord when I am on a trip that forces me to rely on him.

Sometime I hate money. I don't know how I could ever afford to go. I have the yearning in me and its not going away anytime soon...great. Instead of breaking the bank Michael and I are working to build, I think I will learn to submit to my yearning and just support. So I plan on raising funds for my mother in law and whomever is going over there. This trip is not the one for me but in the future...please! I want to go back to Israel :)

Music.

My most recent favorites:
1-Ingrid Michaelson songs "Everybody" "The Way I Am" "Maybe"
2-Missy Higgins songs "Warm Whispers" "Unbroken" "Where I Stood" "Sugarcane"
3-Natalie Mechant song "My Skin"

Seriously, my new music love is the style of Ingrid Michaelson.

Two things.

First thing that I have is something that stuck out to me whilst doing my bible study on Monday. It was in the beginning of the book of Mark verse 41 Moved with compassion, Jesus stretched out His hand and touched him, and said to him, “I am willing; be cleansed.”

How long do you think it was since that man who had leporsy had been touched? It is highly likely that the first touch he had in years was the savior touching him and telling him he would be healed. And again, Jesus touched him. People didn't just touch lepers. I am just constantly amazed by the Lord.

Secondly, 1 Peter 3:15 hit me today. Actually the first time it didn't hit me. I was reading and while I was reading I was thinking about this one morning devo from bible college given by Brian Bostic and all I was picturing was him looking at the crowd over the top of his glasses. He would always do that, not look through his glasses but peek over the top of them. It was such a funny memory that I wasn't paying attention to what I was reading. Ever do that? I made it to the end of the chapter without recollecting a word and realized that I was not studying well. So I stopped, prayed, and then reread.

This is what I found: 15 "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,"

Wow! I hope people want to ask me the reason for the hope I have. How awesome would that be?! So anyways this is my goal :)

And I would write more but the ambulance is pulling and I have to go...work is calling and the ER does not wait!

Going into class.

So I have about 20 minutes before class starts, its very strange to be back at college. I missed it because I love learning and honestly, as much as I may whine about it, I love school. I love knowing that I am learning things and even more, I love knowing things. I tried to explain this to Michael and he said he just didn't understand and that knowing things wasn't as important to him. Its not that I want to be a know it all I just like to know that I know things. Do you know what I mean? Its more for my own personal gain.

On to other news. I need to spend more time with the Lord time with the Lord.
I look at my bible and, this is awful to say, I think I will get to it later. And then I never do. And I will go hours, days, a week even without picking it up. Who knows why? Ugh...I know why.
Like I must remind myself in my relationship with my husband, love is a choice. I need to choose daily to love the Lord. It shouldn't be hard...but it is. I think it would be easier if I felt His love tangibly like I used too, because I used to didn't I? I think I did. I think the more I push him away the more my heart gets cold and the less desire it has to be warm again. Its like my heart is so unhealthy it doesn't mind being unhealthy anymore.

But it does mind, from now on, it does. I am going to commit to spending time daily. I will. I will. I must.
Thank you.

My life in pictures part one.

Facing the mirror everyday.

Coffee shops.

I'm sitting in a coffee shop right now, a wonderful one. The ambiance they created here is superb. Deep leather easy chair surrounding a fireplace, dim lamps with rich red shades. Old painting and a large traditional coffee grinder complement the decor and make it feel relaxed, like an old study.

I love sitting in coffee shops and feeling bookish. I have so many thoughts in my head I want to write down, want to perpetuate somehow yet I am always hesitant to share them on here. Someday maybe I will get over it and share a little more openly the thoughts, songs, poems, pictures, and things that are in my head.

Thanks :)

Currently listening to some Missy Higgins music and drinking a wonderful french roast. Adieu.